Naughty Sex Chat

I absolutely love getting down, deep and dirty in random, crazy and weird places. It adds such fun and excitement to something that is already absolutely fun and excitement. It’s like an overload explosion of goodness. Here are my top 10 crazy places to have sex. Tell me what yours are in the comments below!

10 – On your desk at work!

Yup, I have gotten down and dirty right here in my office where I am currently typing to you! The very exact same place where I tell you all my dirty little secrets! Shhh! Don’t tell anyone! 9 – In a cop car… or ontop one!

Police cars are always an exciting, riskay time… but be careful! If you get caught, you’re busted.. and not the kind you want to me.  I was lucky enough to  be able to turn on a cop enough so I use him for a  sack session in the back seat of his police cruiser. And yes… handcuffs were involved.

8 – In a work utility closet

Every work place has to have a closet. Any closet. Big closet. Small closet. Who cares, just do it in there! It is hot, sneaky and fucking sexy as hell!

7 – In a bathroom at the bar!

Now this is a good time. Just be a little less… obvious then me and don’t get kicked out and completely banned from the place! Oopsie! I guess I’m a bit of a screamer!

6 – In a barn on hay bales.
Okay, if you’re like me and don’t have a barn and you’re feeling frisky enough…. sneak into one! Experiencing a hot sweet slam in a barn on some hay bales is… ugh…. words can’t explain!

5 – On a train bridge!

The risk of getting raunchy on a train bridge is such a thrill! It will make your orgasmssss (yes plural)  explosive!

4 – In a tent!

When I go on vacation, I’m not going to not have sex, so a tent is a good place for a deep dirty time, and away from all the bugs!

3 – In the woods!

Again, the risk of being caught is a mood-booster. Plus, you can use your natural surroundings for creative positions. Way to go green!

2 – In someone else’s house!

I have hooked up in family’s houses, friends, foes… randoms. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right?

1 -  On a dance floor!

Apparently I didn’t learn from getting banned from a bar for public sex… ’cause I still do it all the time, just on the dance floor!

Don’t forget to share your dirty little secret places in the comments!

Okay, let’s get real here. You dirty boys know you want to sleep with us on the first date, don’t kid yourself. I’m not going to lie to you either, most ladies want the same on the first date as well, it all just depends on whether you play your cards right or not. Take my tips, and you will definitely get a nice lay on the first date.

Before you take the girl out, there are some things you need to do to ensure a good time (wink, wink) by the end of the night.

-Shower, shave and shit. We don’t want a greasy, hairy man farting all night.

-Don’t smell. Deodorant and a good cologne… but not too much, we don’t want to choke. Well, not on your cologne.

-Dress nice. Even if its casual, we will always look for stains, holes, rips! Make sure you look and feel like a hundred bucks!

-Wank off, so when you do sleep with your girl on the first date… it’ll be a nice long one. And hey, if you need help… call one of us Phonesex Honeys.

Alright, now you are ready to go on your first date, and you definitely want to ram her before the nights over, so take mental notes of every single thing I am telling you.

-Make the date for the evening.  Go to a local bar for some drinks and make sure it is a few minutes from your house.  The atmosphere and drinks will help loosen her up… including her legs.

-Be physical with her. When you meet, kiss her on the cheek, hug her, hold her hand, put your hand on her lower back… whatever you do, just be physical! This will let her know you are confident but be sure to not go overboard and come off as clingy!

-When you are at the bar, make sure you sit close. You do not want to leave a big empty space in between you. This will also give you the opportunity to place your hand on her leg. This is all about connection. Keep the conversation flowing. Flirty, laughing and sexual looks are key!

-Once you have been at the bar for a bit and prior to midnight, make up an excuse that it is too loud in the bar, or you want to check out another place. Start walking in the direction of your house, keeping the conversation flowing. Now, as you are walking toward your house and when you can see it, point it out.  “that’s where I live” and offer to show her something like a pet, photo… or even watch a movie. Try something like, “you remembered you had some nice wine, if shed care to try it?” but make sure to say that you can’t stay up late because you have to be awake early. DO NOT forget to say that… it’s key to getting in our pants!

-Now that you are at her house, allow her to sit down and offer her something to drink. Tone down the sexuality for a bit to get her some time to relax. If she thinks you brought her there for some ass, you won’t get it.

-Begin to be flirty and pay her a compliment and move in for a kiss. Continuing kissing and slowly build up, with kisses on the neck, or a hand on her face. Make sure to work it up and don’t just go in for the kill.

Now, let’s hope she doesn’t stop you and shes raring to go. However, if she says something like “I don’t want to do this, or I don’t usually do that”, apologize and say “it’s okay. I understand. You’re really beautiful though.”… Acting like you don’t think we are a total slag will help get in our pants.

Good luck, boys xo

Sexting! It is sending a sexual text messages. Get it? Sext! Think of it like having phone sex, just through text messages instead.  As a benefit, you can send naughty photos of your body but make sure they don’t get in the wrong hands. Uh oh!

Sexting is great if you have yet to hook up with that person, want them to know you’re interested in a romp, or even for a consistent partner that you have. The whole point is to get the other extremely horny so when you get together, you’re ready to jump each others bones. Another great benefit is that it breaks that awkward ice if it’s a new partner. It also allows you to flirt  while you’re out, or remind your partner how amazing they were the other night, which is my personal favourite. I love sending my lover sexts explaining, in detail, how bad I want his cock, or simply replaying a previous hook-up we’ve had as a little reminder! I also love getting a picture of his ragging cock, as a result of my sexts. And let me just tell you, it is so unbelievably hot to be sitting in a work meeting or out with your girls for lunch while you’re secretly getting frisky with your man through messaging! Hot! Hot! Hot!

Now, if you’re going to indulge in sexting, there are some serious rules you must follow. Don’t break them or you’ll come off as an idiot, loser or a complete fucking perve!

SEXTING RULES

1. Make sure to have unlimited messaging! Leaving them wanting more is great…. but if your phone plan randomly runs out, it can cause a hump in the moment… and not the kind of hump you want!
2. Make damn sure that the recepient is who it should be! Nothing worse then your sister getting a sext from her brother asking how bad she wants his cock. Ew!
3. “What’s up, Sexy?” “Wanna fuck?” and “Do you shave your poon?” are definitely sext fails. Try something like, “I can’t wait to taste your sweet pussy”, “tonight, dinner, movie, my place?” or “Just thinking about how sexy your ass looked last night!”.
4. Sending pictures is riskay and risky. Avoid at all costs having your face in them. No matter who it is, how much you are in love… I don’t care. If shit gets nasty…. you’re balls are on the line… literally. Need I say… Tiger Woods? And for the ladies… it’s only worse. Females are much more cruel!
5. Understand their feedback. If you are getting one answers, or “oh do you?” or “yeah?” … they’re not feeling it. Give it a break and try a different angle next time!
6. Remember, detail is key… and depends on who you are sending it to.  “I want you” is not going to get the same reaction as explaining what you want, where you want and how you want it!

GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY SEXTING!

I am a strong believer that a hand job is an art that only a man can master. It is very hard for females to get it right and the technique down pat but I’m going to give you some tips so we can come pretty damn close to giving the perfect hand job for our men!

I want you guys to remember a few things. When giving a hand job, try to forget everything about sex. The technique is completely different. For example, if you want the hand job to be rough… grabbing onto it hard and tugging forcefully back and forth is not going to feel good for him at all.  To make it “rough”, try talking dirty and adding oral sex into the mix will definitely get your point across.

Guys are extremely visually-stimulated, so be sure to give them a great view of your body when pleasuring them. Some personal favourites are straddling on top of him, or a 69 position with a great view of your pussy and back end!

Now, a basic hand job is easy to give. You just want to gently wrap your fingers around his shaft and move your wrist up and down. However, we’re not talking about just ANY hand job here… we’re talking about giving the absolute best hand job possible and variety is definitely the key to making this happen.  Be sure to mix up your speed, and pressure to get a moan-worthy reaction, but again, never… ever grab too hard and tug. That delicious boner in your hand will go limp way too fast and the mood is busted!

You want to focus on the parts of the penis that are extremely sensitive to him. Think of his head, where his head meets his shaft, and the thin ridge that runs up his penis on the underside, as jackpot spots! Rubbing a finger along these parts will excite him even more and feel amazing for him. You can always try the two-hander, which is doing the exact same thing… just with two hands. Adding oral will definitely help him explode with pleasure as well!

Again, I definitely think it just isn’t something a female can do as well as a man can but with the secret spots, motion and sexy view for him, it will be pretty damn close!

I also found this video that will help with the perfecto hand job-o. Check it out!

In continuation from my previous post about a morning wood… when my lover came all over my face, it was insanely white. Being the curious cat that I am, I wanted to know why it is sometimes white and sometimes clear… so I did some research!

Before I go any further, can we just stop and appreciate how damn sexy this model is? I wouldn’t mind him cuming all over my face!

Okay, back on topic. Cum is white due to the sperm in the man juice, known as lubricant so itcan be more clear then a thicker white for the following reasons;

• recent masturbation – not a lot of sperm left so the cum is mostly just lubricant
• getting off too fast – not enough time for the build up of sperm to join the lubricant

And that’s it! That is all! I was hoping for something a little more excited, I know… borrrrrinnnnng. But hey, now we can always know when our men have jacked off!

Take care, ladies and gentlemen! I shall see you all soon! xo

A latest sex trend for females is squirting, also known as female ejaculation.

Some say all  females can squirt with a little practice, and others say only a few can… but with my personal experience, I definitely think everyone can with the right tips and steps to follow! I never was able to, but with the following the steps that I have provided below, I managed to explode amazing feelings like nothing else before. The hardest part for me, and for many other females, is finding your g spot.

Now if you have a vibrator, this will work wonders, but if you do not have one, your fingers will do just fine!

I recommend trying it first by yourself, so you are relaxed and comfortable with whatever may happen.

You, of course, need to know what you are looking for. Squirting is done by stimulating your g spot which is located inside your vagina.

This diagram shows you exactly where you can locate your g spot, however every one is different, so you may need to play around first to find it.

To start off, you want to be sexually excited. This will help swell up your g spot and make it easier for you to find.  Stick your middle finger and/or ring finger into your vagina about an inch or two with your palm facing upwards. You want to curl your fingers, as if to do the “come here” motion. Your g spot will feel similar to the roof of your mouth. It will be bumpy and have texture. If you are feeling a smooth spot, you have gone too far.

Once you have found your g spot, you want to make frequent rubbing motion on it. Again, think of the “come here” motion with your fingers. You will start to feel a build up, and many people say it feels like you are going to pee. The trick is to relax your body and push. While still rubbing your gspot, push as if you were to pee. This will allow you to squirt all over the place. Some people do just gush… a lot, so do not be worried if this happens to you.

Sometimes it takes a lot of practice to figure out your body and think of what works best to turn you on. But keep going, and you will eventually explode and become addicting to squirting.

Plus, men enjoy it as well

Squirt away my lovely ladies!

And if you have your own little secrets you would like to add, don’t forget to comment below!

Needless to say, I didn’t have to beg much longer for my guy to rip my lingerie off and slam his throbbing cock in me. After a delicious, raunchy sack session, all wounds were healed over. Well, except for the new bite marks all over my body… But they do always say, makeup sex is the best sex, don’t they? I wonder why that is. Maybe because you get all of your aggression and frustration out on one another sexually. Whatever it is, I am personally a huge fan of makeup sex. Rough, hard, raunchy, deep… fucking. They should call it makeup fucking ’cause I sure wouldn’t consider that to be sex.

Sex and fucking are two totally different things. I have met some people who don’t know the difference between sex and fucking and I was blown away! Maybe you are one of those people, so I am going to break it down for you!

There is love making, sex and fucking. Love making is passionate, sweet, soft and sensual sex where you are really close and emotionally connected through out, and I would assume lots of smooching! It is also definitely a one-on-one thing.

Now sex is still somewhat like love making, but also a bit of fucking. It is a great combination of both. You are still emotionally there… but rougher and usually in all sorts of positions.  Not so much kissing, if any at all and sex can definitely include more then one person as a time. Ménage à trois, anyone?

And then there is fucking. Oh, how I love fucking. Fucking is rough, dirty, raunchy, porn star style sex. Talking dirty, ass slapping, hair pulling. It is wonderful, but you do have to be completely comfortable with  yourself in order to achieve an amazing fuck. We will get into that later as well. Fucking can also be with one person, two people, or a great big orgy.

To sum it up, you have to be emotionally connected with one another for love making, somewhat connected for sex, and completely detached emotionally and just… fuck dirty, for fucking. Does this make any sense? I hope so.

I would like to know what your favourite style of sex is! Comment below and tell me why it is your favourite.